Tis the season to be jolly and to drink more beer and wine.  It is Christmas party time!  And it only seems like yesterday I threw up after one too many raspberry and lemonades.  Too much sharing?


A) You have been conned into taking the sober driver seat.  You and your relations are travelling to your cousin’s 40th birthday bash in Ruatoria.  (He was born on Christmas Eve.)

What are you drinking?

B) You are an evangelical Christian who simplifies the entire Bible into a vast collection of infinitesimal commandments.  It is the evening of the office Christmas party.  NO! Thou shalt not cling to a bottle of budget lemonade.

What are you drinking?

C) You do not possess the required enzyme in your gut/liver to process alcohol effectively.  You arrive at the Christmas barbecue with your boyfriend.  He spots his rugby (football) mates.

What are you drinking?

One of the first things alcohol does is to make people chatty, friendlier and more relaxed – the majority anyhow.  We call this first stage of intoxication ‘getting tipsy’ and it happens approximately half way through the second drink.  Suddenly everyone is happier. (Some people may become quieter and others argumentative.)  The point is You are dead sober.  But don’t worry because you can still have a good time. When everyone else is happily less inhibited it is easy to do the same.

But what are you drinking?

Let’s take a look at our traditional non-alcoholic beverage range:  Lemonade; Raspberry and lemonade; Lime, lemonade and bitters; Ginger beer; Lemon and Paeroa (basically lemonade made in a place called Paeroa); rendered down orange juice and last, and definitely least, plain old water.

Water, by the way, is the Health Promotion Agency’s choice for You.  Yum. The Agency could hardly promote sugary drinks though.  We might all rush into a diabetic coma.  If we recovered we would certainly take the Agency to court.  Far better it (only) cost 1.2 million tax payer dollars to tell New Zealanders it’s okay to say ‘no’ to the alcohol pushers.  You know the type.  The alcohol pusher is not happy unless everyone is paralytic.   The strategy of the Health Promotion Agency is to suggest alcohol abusers are losers while the restrained drinker is the winner.   The simplicity of the message seems to be working in the over-sixty age group.  No really.  Money well spent.

Back to the question: What are you drinking?  Flavoured sugar or water?  Oh, you mean me? Well I’m drinking the Kombucha. Thanks.

Kombucha has been brewed for thousands of years.  I discovered it last year.  You can make your own but I drive to Countdown where I buy Remedy Kombucha.  Made in Aus.

Five reasons to drink Kombucha this Christmas:

Kombucha is delicious.

Kombucha looks and tastes like an adult drink.  Water does not. Water misses the point of the adult celebratory gathering altogether.

Kombucha approximates the appearance of pale ale.  This will help me to fake intoxication. It is all about being one with the Christmas party.  It is.

Kombucha is not high in sugar and has less than 0.5% alcohol.

Kombucha is the best non-alcoholic beverage to drink in humid weather.  It is refreshing. And it has bubbles.

Just out of interest take a look at the video on this link to the Health Promotion Agency’s Yeah, Nah campaign.  The Agency has been accused of being stereotypically sexist so I’m guessing this is the offending clip.

Drink more water at parties. Yeah, Nah.




4 replies on “What are you drinking?

  1. Here in the UK the ‘push’ to drink seems to have died down and it’s positively reinforced if someone is the designated driver…in the pubs there is a wide selection of non alcoholic drinks available and I know some places will make these free to the drivers. Water!! No way,not when out with friends. I like lemonade,apple juice and would love to try your Kombucha! You sold me on it. As for the advert…seriously!! How 1980s!! More an embarrassment, surely.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s